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Donald Trump Hints at a Not-So-Peaceful Transfer of Power: The Daily Show


Welcome toThe Daily Show
with Trevor Noah.
I am not Trevor Noah. I am Jordan Klepper. Our guest tonight
from the hit Netflix show, Marvel’sLuke Cage,
Mike Colter is here, everybody. -(cheers and applause)
-Yes. Very exciting. So, obviously,
I’m subbing in for Trevor, who, unfortunately,
is out sick this evening, not from watching
too much debate last night, but instead, apparently,
one of his dimples exploded. Doctors say he will make a full
and very handsome recovery. But in, in all seriousness,
Trevor, if you’re watching, I will treat your desk and your
show with the utmost respect and dignity, so that everything
is in good shape when you come back from what
you’re actually suffering from, which is your heroic battle
with penis farting syndrome. Guys, please,
I know it sounds funny, but penis farting
is anything but. It’s a very real disease where, surprisingly,
your penis farts. It’s no laughing matter. It’s stage IV penis farting, which is what Trevor Noah has. (laughter) But while we’re on the subject
of a white guy trying to fill a black man’s job,
let’s talk about Donald Trump. -(cheers and applause)
-Yeah. Now, last night,
he debated Hillary Clinton for the third and final time,
and the stakes were very high for the tangerine
snatch-grabber. In the last few weeks
he’s plummeted in the polls, he’s lost endorsements
from Republican leaders, and now when he shouts
“Here, boy,” Chris Christie hardly
ever comes. The point is, Trump needed this
debate to turn things around. He had to appear presidential,
dignified, unflappable, prepared,
and respectful toward women. Let’s see how he did. John Podesta said some horrible
things about you, and boy, was he right. Well, let me translate that
if I can, Chris, because, um… -You can’t.
-The fact is… No puppet, no puppet. -It’s pretty clear.
-You’re the puppet. -Wrong.
-A very… -Give me a break.
-And on the day… What we want to do
is to replenish -Such a nasty woman.
-the Social Security trust fund. Wow. Is it just me
or did that guy nail it? (laughter) Actually, you know what
really bothered me about the whole
“nasty woman” comment? The way Trump said it as if he expects us all
to agree with him. It’s like when you’re in a taxi
and the driver tells you a disgusting racist joke and
expects you to just laugh along, and you’re like,
“Dude, that’s inappropriate. I wrote that joke;
you’re telling it wrong.” (laughter) But let’s turn to last night’s
biggest moment, when Donald Trump told
democracy, “It’s not me, it’s you.” TV REPORTER:
Debate night stunner:
Donald Trump refused to sayhe’ll accept
the election results.
I will tell you at the time. I’ll keep you in suspense. That was a disastrous answer. Yeah, it was truly
extraordinary. I’ve never heard anything
like that. I think it was
a terrible mistake. He decided he wanted
to get on the crazy train and take it off the rails. Stunning,
it’s absolutely stunning. Not a total shocker. You think a guy
with his track record of taking no for an answer is going to care about the
consent of the electorate? I mean, he’s gonna move on it
like a bitch. And here’s how you know Trump
crossed a line. If you ever wondered how
a TV newsman would say, “Are you (bleep) me?” Well, Chris Wallace gave it
a pretty good shot. But, sir, there is a tradition
in this country, in fact one of the prides
of this country, is the peaceful transition
of power, and that no matter how hard
fought a campaign is, that at the end of the campaign, that the loser concedes
to the winner. Really? Chris Wallace, tradition? (laughing):
That’s adorable. There stopped being American
presidential traditions the moment Donald Trump
stepped onto that escalator. You think President Trump’s gonna pardon a turkey
on Thanksgiving? He’s gonna stop it, frisk it, waterboard its wife
and children, and then feed its carcass to
Secretary of Labor Scott Baio. (laughter) Now, while some
campaign traditions end, some new ones spring up. And a new tradition this year is that after Donald Trump says
something crazy and regrettable, all the people who work for him
go on TV and pretend like
it didn’t happen. Donald Trump will accept
the results of the election because he’s going to win
the election, so they’ll be easy to accept. The thing of it is, is he didn’t
say that he wouldn’t accept the outcome, he said, “I
will let you know at the time.” I think he’ll accept the results
of the election. We have to make sure that
our elections are run properly. Whatever the outcome is,
he’ll accept those… he’ll accept that outcome. That’s totally not
what Trump said. He didn’t say he will accept it. He said “we’ll see.” “We’ll see” is the opposite
of saying “yes.” If someone proposes to you
and you say, “We’ll see,” none of your friends
are gonna say, “Oh, my God, Tiffany’s engaged.” If anything, they say, I think Jordan and Tiffany
just broke up. I mean, Jason… I mean,
Jason and Tiffany just broke up. Jason’s the lonely one. Luckily, Trump took a day to realize the gravity
of his comments. So, this afternoon he clarified. I will totally accept
the results of this great and historic presidential election… if I win. (crowd cheers) Yeah. I knew it. I knew it. Trump is a totally
reasonable guy. As long as he gets
exactly what he wants 100% of the time. I think we can
all relate to that. But refusing to accept
the election results is different than
anything Trump has done so far, because in the year that I’ve
been working with Trevor Noah, I’ve learned a few things
about Africa. Like, that it’s not a country. But here’s something else
that Trevor told me just today from his death bed. #PenisFarts. As messed up
as the United States is, a lot of places in Africa
look to us as an example. Because, at least up until now, we haven’t done things
like this. Kenya continues
its descent into chaos following a disputed
presidential election there.The opposition party
claims the incumbent president
stole the election.REPORTER:
Violence erupted in Ivory Coast
when incumbent Laurent Gbagbo
refused to cede power
to Alassane Ouattara after a
disputed presidential election.
Come on, America. It’s not enough
that you take our music and our blood diamonds, now you want our violent
political transitions, too? Africa jokes. Sometimes they get
written in advance and it’s too late to change ’em. And it’s not…
it’s not only in Africa. I mean, if you want to see
how disputed election results can really tear a nation apart, don’t forget
this shocking footage. REPORTER:After accepting the
award for Best Female Video,
Taylor Swift was interrupted
by rapper Kanye West,
who objected to her victory.Yo, Taylor… I-I’m really happy for you,
I’m-a let you finish, but Beyoncé had one
of the best videos of all time. One of the best videos
of all time. That feud is still going on. Even orange juice
and toothpaste are like,

Joseph Wolf

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